School.<\/p>\n
Sort of.<\/p>\n
If you would have told me at the beginning of this mess that the start of the following school year would be in jeopardy after stopping in-person classes \u00a0on March 5th, I would have called you a cotton-headed ninnymuggins and taken your lunch just to teach you a lesson about saying hurtful things.<\/p>\n
But here we are.<\/p>\n
With a child in middle school, high school and college, we’ve got 3 distinct Back To School plans and I’m really on the fence on how this is going to go. Obviously, we all want our kids back to normal school. We want extra-curriculars, sports, clubs, lunchrooms and head lice over deadly viruses. But I would be a liar if I said I knew how that could be safely accomplished currently; and then I’d just change my mind again in 5 minutes.<\/p>\n
Instead, let’s just give these kids a lesson in Do As We Don’t Really Say And Definitely Not As We Do And Sometimes As We Intuit And Nothing As What Scientists Say While Ignoring Science Math And History Because First Graders Are Expected To Figure This Out When The Adults In Charge Won’t.<\/p>\n
And then I’ll take remidial English and work on those run on sentences on misuse of capital letters.<\/p>\n\n\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
School. Sort of. If you would have told me at the beginning of this mess that the start of the following school year would be in jeopardy after stopping in-person classes \u00a0on March 5th, I would have called you a cotton-headed ninnymuggins and taken your lunch just to teach you a lesson about saying hurtful […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[1],"tags":[105,86],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s3NIOM-august","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":561,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/05\/23\/top-10-signs-school-is-about-to-end\/","url_meta":{"origin":920,"position":0},"title":"Top 10 signs school is about to end","date":"May 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Top 10 signs you know the school year is ending: 10. School busses start carrying salve on board for the third degree burns resulting from vinyl seats reaching 37,000 \u2103 by 7 am. 9. Too short to be considered \u201ccrayons,\u201d you now have a box of wax finger paints. All\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":667,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2016\/05\/27\/summer\/","url_meta":{"origin":920,"position":1},"title":"Summer.","date":"May 27, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"This has been a big mixed bag of a school year for us. We\u2019ve had tremendous fun\u2014lots of regular season hockey, the All-Star Game, and a deep playoff run with accompanying travel and tailgate parties. We had a lot of charitable projects we were thankful to be involved with. The\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":607,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/08\/05\/premature-education\/","url_meta":{"origin":920,"position":2},"title":"Premature Education","date":"August 5, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As I sit here on the morning of the first day of school, which has crept earlier and earlier each August until it seems as though the 4th of July is closer than Labor Day, it occurs to me that the local School Boards may be suffering from an embarrassing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":599,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/07\/29\/13-tips-to-start-the-college-search\/","url_meta":{"origin":920,"position":3},"title":"13 tips to start the college search","date":"July 29, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As this summer winds down and gearing up for a new school year begins, instead of buying new crayons and construction paper for elementary school, I find myself shopping for extra-long twin sheets and shower caddies. Our little boy is going to college. And as exciting and daunting as that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":726,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2016\/08\/19\/goals\/","url_meta":{"origin":920,"position":4},"title":"#Goals","date":"August 19, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I don\u2019t think that I\u2019m alone in my sincere intention of achieving my Mom Back to School Goals. The execution of these objectives is another story altogether. We\u2019ve just completed the first full week of school, and I\u2019m evaluating my progress. Goal: Buy all the uniforms in June during the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":631,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/09\/26\/20-things-you-wont-hear-me-say-this-month\/","url_meta":{"origin":920,"position":5},"title":"20 Things You Won’t Hear Me Say This Month","date":"September 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You\u2019ll hear me say a lot of things this month. There\u2019s a good chance you\u2019ll overhear me yelling at some crazy person on House Hunters that you can buy a stainless steel refrigerator and a can of paint at any Home Depot, you unrealistic idiot. Or my explanation to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=920"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":923,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/920\/revisions\/923"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=920"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=920"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=920"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}