{"id":917,"date":"2020-09-16T14:26:39","date_gmt":"2020-09-16T14:26:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/?p=917"},"modified":"2020-09-16T14:26:39","modified_gmt":"2020-09-16T14:26:39","slug":"july","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2020\/09\/16\/july\/","title":{"rendered":"July"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dumb Things I Say Now:<\/strong><\/p>\n

“Is orange tongue a symptom of Covid or am I eating way too many Emergen-C tablets?”<\/p>\n

“What song did you sing while washing your hands? If it isn’t ‘Alice’s Restaurant,’ get back in there.”<\/p>\n

“Does Publix have toilet paper? Paper Towel? Clorox wipes? My old life?”<\/p>\n

“Can you sanitize masks in an Insta Pot?”*<\/p>\n

*”You can do anything in an Insta Pot.”<\/p>\n

“Do you think Dr. Fauci would adopt me? Marry me?”<\/p>\n

“Do you want to trade jigsaw puzzles because I’m 94 years old and super boring now.”<\/p>\n

(Related) “Do you think $78 is too much to spend on retro Froot Loops puzzle?”<\/p>\n

“I meant for my home hair color to look this way.”<\/p>\n

“Have you had a fever above 100.4 in the last 14 days? Been around someone who did? Thought about someone who did?”<\/p>\n

“THEY ARE SPITTING CHERRY PITS LIVE ON ESPN!”<\/p>\n

(Related) “I’m totally watching that.”<\/p>\n

“Can you see my wine glass in the Zoom frame?”<\/p>\n

“STOP SENDING ME MY WEEKLY SCREEN TIME, SIRI! NO ONE NEEDS THAT KIND OF NEGATIVITY RIGHT NOW. READ THE DAMN ROOM.”<\/p>\n

“We should go back to school in person.” Five minutes later: “We should go back to school remotely.”<\/p>\n

Repeat above sentences 78 times daily.<\/p>\n

Better Things I Say Now<\/strong> <\/p>\n

“Just do something to exercise your mind, body and spirit today no matter what that is.”<\/p>\n

“It’s really not going to be like this forever.”<\/p>\n

“Reach out to at least one friend today–they are feeling exactly the same way you are.”<\/p>\n

“There’s no one I’d rather quarantine with more.”<\/p>\n

“Take a deep breath.”<\/p>\n

“Wash your hands.”<\/p>\n

<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dumb Things I Say Now: “Is orange tongue a symptom of Covid or am I eating way too many Emergen-C tablets?” “What song did you sing while washing your hands? If it isn’t ‘Alice’s Restaurant,’ get back in there.” “Does Publix have toilet paper? Paper Towel? Clorox wipes? My old life?” “Can you sanitize masks […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[2],"tags":[105],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/s3NIOM-july","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":894,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2020\/09\/01\/happy-new-year\/","url_meta":{"origin":917,"position":0},"title":"Happy New Year?","date":"September 1, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Like most parents and smaller human beings who attended some sort of school in their lifetimes, I have always considered the beginning of the school year the actual \"New Year\" rather than when the calendar turns to January. That used to be because it was a natural new beginning--new grade,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":243,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2013\/09\/09\/itll-cure-what-ails-ya-lentil-sausage-and-kale-soup\/","url_meta":{"origin":917,"position":1},"title":"It\u2019ll Cure What Ails Ya Lentil, Sausage and Kale Soup","date":"September 9, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I am a firm believer in the power of food to heal. And when someone isn\u2019t feeling well, the kitchen is the best pharmacy I know. This soup is something I\u2019ve been making for a few months for friends as well as myself whenever I need a little a little\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Recipe"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/IMG_2102-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":282,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2013\/11\/11\/old-school-rice-pilaf\/","url_meta":{"origin":917,"position":2},"title":"Old school rice pilaf","date":"November 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"This easy and flavorful side is a souvenir from my youth when I thought rice only came in two varieties: Minute or pilaf. I left the Minute Rice back in the 80\u2019s and the pilaf seemed doomed to stay there as well until a few months ago when I resurrected\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Recipe"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/IMG_2294-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":293,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2013\/11\/15\/what-a-crock\/","url_meta":{"origin":917,"position":3},"title":"What a crock","date":"November 15, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Admittedly, my biggest kitchen failures usually come from a Crock pot. If you forget about the first time I made Tiramisu without sugar or my passive-aggressive relationship with yeast, the Crock-pot is my next greatest culinary nemesis. Oh, I do fine with chili, soups or beans because that\u2019s what slow-cookers\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":551,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/05\/10\/happy-mothers-day-for-real\/","url_meta":{"origin":917,"position":4},"title":"Happy Mother’s Day. For real.","date":"May 10, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"My discomfort for Mother\u2019s Day is well-documented. Over the years, I\u2019ve explained that since my own mom passed away 13 years ago, ownership of this day has not been possible for me. This has eased slightly in recent years, or at the very least, worn the edges of the day\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":404,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/03\/04\/fat-tuesday\/","url_meta":{"origin":917,"position":5},"title":"Fat Tuesday","date":"March 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Since last week's accidental trip through Mardi Gras, I have a new appreciation for Fat Tuesday. I tried a few different recipes for Traditional King Cake--even fashioning one myself--but this one from Southern Living was the best. I liked that it wasn't too sweet, and it made two loaves. Part\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Recipe"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/IMG_2618-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/917"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=917"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/917\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":919,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/917\/revisions\/919"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=917"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=917"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=917"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}