You\u2019ll hear me say a lot of things this month.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a good chance you\u2019ll overhear me yelling at some crazy person on House Hunters that you can buy a stainless steel refrigerator and a can of paint at any Home Depot, you unrealistic idiot. Or my explanation to the police officer that rushing home to check-in exactly 24 hours in advance of a Southwest flight justifies 70 in a 30. You might even get an earful of me telling a waiter that Happy Hour 2 for 1 cocktails has another seven minutes so he should probably get hustling lining those gimlets down the table.<\/p>\n
But September can also be a silent struggle. Maybe I don\u2019t have my school year sea legs quite yet or perhaps it\u2019s all of the new activities, routines, expectations and responsibilities, but it can render me speechless for a month that only has 30 days.<\/p>\n
And so while you might hear me say a lot of things including expletives and requests for more wine, here are some things you\u2019ll never hear me (or any of my friends) say this month.<\/p>\n
1.) I\u2019m really jazzed about this year\u2019s school fundraiser and I think we\u2019re a top contender for this year\u2019s top prize!<\/p>\n
2.) I\u2019m having such an easy time finding appropriate and cool clothes for my tween girl.<\/p>\n
3.) I wish school could start earlier in the morning.<\/p>\n
4.) Carline didn\u2019t make me feel like stabbing anyone at all today.<\/p>\n
5.) I turned my permission slip and money in on time.<\/p>\n
6.) My school lunches are so creative and fun to make they look like Jamie Oliver\u2019s Pinterest board!<\/p>\n
7.) No thank you, I\u2019m cutting back on caffeine. <\/p>\n
8.) No thank you, I\u2019m cutting back on wine.<\/p>\n
9.) I can\u2019t wait for the first lice letter to come from the classroom!<\/p>\n
10.) Yes, please allow Push Notifications for Facebook Messenger and Nike Fuelband.<\/p>\n
11.) My car smells good.<\/p>\n
12.) I\u2019ve started my Christmas shopping.<\/p>\n
13.) My kids love it when I comment on their pictures on Instagram!<\/p>\n
14.) I\u2019m thinking about letting my hair go grey.<\/p>\n
15.) Hello? ** (**To any phone call with an unknown number on the caller ID)<\/p>\n
16.) I just got back from an awesome spin class.<\/p>\n
17.) I don\u2019t need anything at the grocery store.<\/p>\n
18.) Boy, that was a great night\u2019s sleep.<\/p>\n
19.) I hope the iPhone 6 has a different charger and cord than the 4 or 5\u2026<\/p>\n
20.) September is my favorite month of the year.<\/p>\n
\u00a92014 Tracey Henry<\/p>\n
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
You\u2019ll hear me say a lot of things this month. There\u2019s a good chance you\u2019ll overhear me yelling at some crazy person on House Hunters that you can buy a stainless steel refrigerator and a can of paint at any Home Depot, you unrealistic idiot. Or my explanation to the police officer that rushing home […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3NIOM-ab","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":876,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2019\/07\/03\/on-the-road-again\/","url_meta":{"origin":631,"position":0},"title":"On the Road Again","date":"July 3, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Greetings, Fellow Adventurers! If you recall from our last episode, the caravan of 15--because obviously that is the best number in a traveling party--made its way around the Northeast, at times even crossing international borders. A fabulous time was had by all. This summer, the menfolk feedback from Louise and\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 3 comments","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":548,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/05\/05\/public-health-alert-senioritis\/","url_meta":{"origin":631,"position":1},"title":"Public Health Alert–Senioritis","date":"May 5, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As two of my children approach graduations\u2014one 8th grader leaving middle school and one high school senior about to enter college\u2014I can attest to the very real, very serious condition of Senioritis. The first symptom is a noticeable lack of interest and energy. Unfortunately, this isn\u2019t limited to the expected\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":602,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/08\/02\/weeknight-chicken-and-cream-sauce\/","url_meta":{"origin":631,"position":2},"title":"Weeknight Chicken and Cream Sauce","date":"August 2, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The August cover of any national food magazine will usually feature some sort grilled meat with a title about throwing the perfect summer party for a crowd. That\u2019s not exactly the way our editorial calendar works here in Tennessee. 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The start of Autumn and the end of bathing suit season. This past summer I\u2019ve been engaging in the latest fitness scheme in my long line of many. I\u2019ve told you about exercise classes and yoga before, so this summer I decided\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Lunch Combination Special : column and recipe"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/IMG_2096-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":584,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/07\/18\/the-day-siri-died-or-why-i-havent-returned-your-call\/","url_meta":{"origin":631,"position":5},"title":"The day Siri died or Why I haven’t returned your call","date":"July 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"This is the last transcript between Siri and me before she met her untimely demise. Me: Siri, please give me a list of kayak rentals in the Gulf of Mexico. Siri: Of course, Gorgeous. I have found three locations very close to you. 2 hours later. Me: Siri, weather report\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/631"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=631"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/631\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":632,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/631\/revisions\/632"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=631"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=631"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=631"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}