\n
![\"Actual](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/IMG_3088.jpg\")
<\/a>2 months out:<\/strong> Get a tattoo with the words, \u201cI know we didn\u2019t do it like this when I went to college.\u201d Sure, sounds painful but repeating that phrase a bajillion times is far more so.<\/p>\n 6 weeks:<\/strong> Begin your To-Go pile. This is a pile of all of the stuff that\u2019s going to be packed up for college. Mostly this heap will consist of Command Strips, phone chargers, and gift cards.<\/p>\n 1 month:<\/strong> Start dorm shopping. If you have a girl, this will entail thousands of dollars, hundreds of stores and dozens of Pinterest boards. If you have a boy, just stop by a military surplus store for standard issue barracks bedding, and you’re all set.<\/p>\n 3 weeks out:<\/strong> Explain what shower shoes and a caddy is and why it\u2019s needed. Related: consider iodine soap.<\/p>\n 2 weeks:<\/strong> Have a cooking lesson. And a laundry lesson. And cleaning.<\/p>\n 1 week, 6 days:<\/strong> Up the meal plan, buy disposable underwear and get immunizations up to date.<\/p>\n 1 week out:<\/strong> Buy stamps. Then realize it\u2019s 2014 and your child probably has no concept of the U.S. Postal Service and considers that black box on the front curb as the pole where we tie balloons when there\u2019s a party.<\/p>\n The night before:<\/strong> Try to compose a letter to your child for him to open after you leave. It should of course convey how much you love him and how much you\u2019ll miss him, but if possible try to describe the impossible thoughts that don\u2019t fit into standard word form. The complete and utter awe of who they have become, and who they are still yet to be, and somehow you were lucky enough to be a participating witness to that miracle. Explain that there were moments when they were younger your mind would look to this day, but never did you think the thing you wanted for them most could hurt quite this much. That while your head is swelling with the pride you feel from achieving this milestone, your heart is breaking at the same rate. Not out of sadness, but from the wisdom and life experience to know it\u2019s always harder for the one left on the pier waving goodbye as the other departs for the journey of a lifetime.<\/p>\n The day of:<\/strong> Unpack, set up\u2014take a picture of the decorated, organized room because it will never look like that again. <\/p>\n Paste on the biggest smile, swallow the lump, blink back the tears and try not to break his ribs when hugging him.<\/p>\n Fall apart when safely away from the pier.<\/p>\n \u00a92014 Tracey Henry<\/p>\n <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Our oldest is off to college in a few days, and I thought I\u2019d share this handy timeline on how to prepare for this upcoming event. 3 months out: Rent a storage unit to house and hoard your billboard-sized Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons for dorm shopping later. 2 months out: Get a tattoo with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[2],"tags":[93,81,94],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3NIOM-9R","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":599,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/07\/29\/13-tips-to-start-the-college-search\/","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":0},"title":"13 tips to start the college search","date":"July 29, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As this summer winds down and gearing up for a new school year begins, instead of buying new crayons and construction paper for elementary school, I find myself shopping for extra-long twin sheets and shower caddies. Our little boy is going to college. And as exciting and daunting as that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":572,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/06\/16\/sht-parents-at-college-orientation-say\/","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":1},"title":"Sh*t Parents at College Orientation Say","date":"June 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Sh*t Parents at Orientation Say Oh, I\u2019m not one of those parents who coddles their kid, but I\u2019m somewhat of a control freak. Wait, what? We have special circumstances in our family. But my kid is different. Your father will build that loft higher. If she gets assigned to a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":920,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2020\/09\/22\/august\/","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":2},"title":"August","date":"September 22, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"School. Sort of. If you would have told me at the beginning of this mess that the start of the following school year would be in jeopardy after stopping in-person classes \u00a0on March 5th, I would have called you a cotton-headed ninnymuggins and taken your lunch just to teach you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"pandemic\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":898,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2020\/09\/02\/speaking-of-march\/","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":3},"title":"Speaking of March","date":"September 2, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"If March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb, the 2020 version must have come in like a rabid raccoon with a raging case of pink-eye and an undiagnosed venereal disease. It went out like...well, it never really left and just lay dying in the corner of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/IMG_0290-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":753,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2017\/02\/06\/hello-again-hello\/","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":4},"title":"Hello, again, hello","date":"February 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"If you are an old friend and reader from my past, welcome back. You know the drill: don\u2019t take anything I say too seriously but know I speak (mostly) truth. It\u2019s great to see you again. If you are new to this side of the picket fence, welcome. If you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":941,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2020\/12\/25\/christmas\/","url_meta":{"origin":611,"position":5},"title":"Christmas","date":"December 25, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Do you remember that old cartoon with the boy with his fingers in the dam trying to stave off it breaking and flooding the whole town? And then another hole bursts open and then another and another until he's playing Twister holding back the floodgates? That's how 2020 has felt--a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/611"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=611"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/611\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":614,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/611\/revisions\/614"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=611"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=611"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=611"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}