{"id":599,"date":"2014-07-29T18:57:21","date_gmt":"2014-07-29T18:57:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/?p=599"},"modified":"2014-07-29T18:57:21","modified_gmt":"2014-07-29T18:57:21","slug":"13-tips-to-start-the-college-search","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/07\/29\/13-tips-to-start-the-college-search\/","title":{"rendered":"13 tips to start the college search"},"content":{"rendered":"

As this summer winds down and gearing up for a new school year begins, instead of buying new crayons and construction paper for elementary school, I find myself shopping for extra-long twin sheets and shower caddies.<\/p>\n

Our little boy is going to college. <\/p>\n

And as exciting and daunting as that is, I can\u2019t help but think back to a couple of summers ago when this whole college search process began.<\/p>\n

Admittedly, I was absolutely clueless as to how to even approach this overwhelming task of helping my son choose a school. The decision-making process didn\u2019t resemble my own 25 years ago which consisted of a total of three applications in my home state and a mailbox filled with postcards from schools I had never heard of and promptly ignored.<\/p>\n

But after wading our way through together, sorting through the endless stacks of information, advice and counsel, I think we ended up in the best possible place for him.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve decided to write this down because I wish I had a jumping off place when I started, so hopefully you\u2019ll find some tips here if you find yourself as confused as I was. <\/p>\n

1.) Forget everything you thought about every school.<\/strong> Period. Chances are fairly high that all of the old rumors, reputations, stigmas, unearned loftiness that you ever applied to any school is either unfair, untrue or outdated. You owe it to yourself and to your child to look at a particular school with a fresh and open mind free of old prejudice.<\/p>\n

2.) Now there are eleventy billion colleges and universities to narrow down.<\/strong> Consider starting with a geographic radius\u2014are you comfortable with a 3 hour drive? 6 hours? 2 day plane trip? Urban or rural? A very specific program or major? This begins to answer the questions of what is going to be the right fit for your student.<\/p>\n

3.) Hello, Internet.<\/strong> This handy dandy tool can answer immediate questions like size, specialties, costs and activities. You should visit every website of schools you\u2019re interested in\u2014and not just the home page. Here\u2019s also a great place to start in general: Collegeboard.org<\/a>.<\/p>\n

4.) Attend every College Night your high school offers.<\/strong> These may seem like a waste of time when you\u2019re trying to schedule an already busy week, but the information you get from unexpected sources and schools you may not have ever considered is invaluable. Your high school probably has a department dedicated to college\u2014use the resources and counselors there. They\u2019re professionals and can really help navigate the process.<\/p>\n

5.) Now start making a short list of schools. <\/strong>The real contenders\u2014the ones you like, but mostly the ones your child expresses interest in. Make sure to include some of varying size and distance. Some safe and some reach schools\u2014some you\u2019re familiar with and others that are new.<\/p>\n

6.) Now the visits.<\/strong> These trips to different schools and towns make up some of my fondest memories with my teenager. Not only was it an excuse to spend a lot of time together his junior year, but we learned so much and I can\u2019t imagine having to make the eventual decision without having that real-life experience. College visits not only introduce that specific school, but provide constructive comparisons and tangible feelings that no website or brochure could possibly give.<\/p>\n

I remember one particular weekend where we visited two schools\u2014the first was one of my favorites which he really didn\u2019t have much interest in and the second was one of his dream schools. After visiting the first he instantly fell in love with everything about it. The second we were halfway through the tour when he whispered, \u201cI really can\u2019t see myself going here.\u201d<\/p>\n

We were able to talk about what was appealing and what wasn\u2019t, and it really helped narrow our search from there.<\/p>\n

On these visits, do yourself a favor and sign up for the free tour offered by the school. You are getting a lot more solid information and access to dorms and classrooms which you wouldn\u2019t necessarily see on a drive-by or unaccompanied campus tour. More often than not, these tours are led by student ambassadors who have already figured out how to navigate the process in the not-so distant past.<\/p>\n

The magic number of schools to visit? That\u2019s up to you. But start with a few and see where it goes from there. Try to fit in a couple over a weekend or break or combine a college visit within a family vacation or visiting friends.<\/p>\n

7.) A warning about Dream Schools.<\/strong> Oh, we all have them\u2014you and your child. Maybe your child has talked non-stop about the University of X since they learned to talk. They have every jersey, T-shirt, sweatshirt and foam finger and never misses a Saturday game during football season. THAT DOESN\u2019T MEAN THEY HAVE TO ATTEND THERE 18 YEARS LATER. By the time the decision time is close, chances are their needs and interests have changed as well. Maybe that school is too far away now. Maybe it\u2019s too big. Or too small. Or it doesn\u2019t even offer the program your child is interested in. That doesn\u2019t make the school or your child any less awesome, it just means that the dream has evolved, and that\u2019s okay.<\/p>\n

8.) More warnings about Dream Schools if they happen to be out of state.<\/strong> If you feel like instantly vomiting or developing a heart condition, look up the out-of-state tuition costs for your dream school. That number could well be over $60,000 a year conservatively. A YEAR. If you are not independently wealthy, this may be a deal-breaker. If you are independently wealthy, you probably didn\u2019t get that way by tossing around hundreds of thousands without looking into all of the options. <\/p>\n

Some states offer in-state tuition rates to students in reciprocal neighboring states, so it\u2019s worth knowing what those are. There are also individual schools that may offer those rates as well, so be sure to ask the school counselor where these options are.<\/p>\n

You won\u2019t know how much\u2014if any\u2014a particular school is going to offer for merit, financial need, or athletics for many months, so proceed with caution here. And even with the grades, test scores and money, some schools are notoriously tough on out-of-state students. You may have exactly the same or even better credentials as a local student but still not get in. Some decisions are out of your control and should not be taken personally. <\/p>\n

9.) Factor in the intangibles.<\/strong> As your list narrows, so will the factors that are important to your family. Distance, costs, athletics, safety, campus life, housing and academics. Don\u2019t discount these things. They all have a place in the decision-making process.<\/p>\n

10.) It ain\u2019t over til it\u2019s over.<\/strong> You may think that once you\u2019ve found that perfect school on paper, it\u2019s time to embroider their fight song on a pillow. I wish. The application process now begins and that\u2019s a whole other process of grades, test scores, essays and fees. So don\u2019t put the cart before the horse and encourage your child to have that final short list comprised of multiple really good and comfortable options so that application process can start with clarity.<\/p>\n

Make notes on each of the schools you\u2019ve visited right afterward when it\u2019s fresh on your mind and then you can refer to them when application time comes around.<\/p>\n

11.) If we all had our life\u2019s path figured out completely at the age of 18, there\u2019d be a lot more movie actors and art historians.<\/strong> Did you have it all figured out upon high school graduation? Of course not. Don\u2019t expect your child to, either. It\u2019s an exciting time and a place to explore the options out there. Be flexible, supportive, and the best sounding board you can be.<\/p>\n

12.) The amount of criticism you are allowed to levy over another person\u2019s college search and eventual choice is exactly zero.<\/strong> I mean it. This is a difficult and uniquely intimate process, and you have no idea the considerations that went into another family\u2019s decision, so leave it alone regardless of your feelings and offer your unwavering support. There is a school for everyone out there and finding the one that fits best is something we should all root for when it comes to our kids.<\/p>\n

13.) I\u2019ve written this from a parent\u2019s perspective, but ultimately, it\u2019s their choice. Yes, even if you\u2019re paying for it.<\/strong> By this point, the short-list won\u2019t (or shouldn\u2019t) include anywhere that isn\u2019t a realistic possibility for your family for any of the reasons listed above. So when the applications finally do go out, they are going to a set of schools already-agreed upon between you and your child. This is the time for the discerning of those schools, not after they\u2019ve applied and gotten their hopes up if it never was going to be a consideration.<\/p>\n

Parents and students both ultimately want the same thing: to succeed at the perfect school for them. Hopefully, you\u2019ve found that mutually-agreeable place because you\u2019ve journeyed together discovering all of the wonderfully important pieces that went into the decision.<\/p>\n

\u00a92014 Tracey Henry<\/p>\n

<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As this summer winds down and gearing up for a new school year begins, instead of buying new crayons and construction paper for elementary school, I find myself shopping for extra-long twin sheets and shower caddies. Our little boy is going to college. And as exciting and daunting as that is, I can\u2019t help but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[2],"tags":[93,81,94],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3NIOM-9F","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":572,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/06\/16\/sht-parents-at-college-orientation-say\/","url_meta":{"origin":599,"position":0},"title":"Sh*t Parents at College Orientation Say","date":"June 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Sh*t Parents at Orientation Say Oh, I\u2019m not one of those parents who coddles their kid, but I\u2019m somewhat of a control freak. 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