My discomfort for Mother\u2019s Day is well-documented. Over the years, I\u2019ve explained that since my own mom passed away 13 years ago, ownership of this day has not been possible for me. This has eased slightly in recent years, or at the very least, worn the edges of the day down enough so that pain isn\u2019t as sharp as it used to be, but it still remained one of my least favorite days.<\/p>\n
This year, I thought it could be approached differently. When I realized that our oldest son\u2019s high school graduation was scheduled for the same day, I thought, good, it will shift the focus to this bigger milestone.<\/p>\n
Which it did.<\/p>\n
Startlingly, suddenly, with a huge lump in my throat, here was the day my little boy grew up.<\/p>\n
I know this is the moment that we parents work so hard for. We want nothing more than to watch our child on a graduation stage, cap and gown clad marching toward their bright future. The recognition of this incredible occasion is important and I did in fact graduate from high school and college, so I\u2019m not sure why this epiphany is falling out on the keyboard in such a tangled incoherent mess, but I\u2019d be lying if I denied that beneath the joy, there is grief. Not a wringing of the hands doubting yourself grief, or even the hapless wishing to turn the clock back grief, but one of the quiet knowledge that you\u2019re going to miss something that has been so beautiful in your life every day for the last 18 years.<\/p>\n
And that you\u2019re also missing that other beautiful someone who felt this way about you on graduation day so many years ago.<\/p>\n
Over the years, I\u2019ve begged for her haunting. I\u2019ve waited for her signs. I know they are there, but perhaps because I\u2019m watching so insistently, I think I often miss them. That whole watched pot thing, I suppose.<\/p>\n
But I know she will be there on Sunday. For me, and for him. Because she wouldn\u2019t have missed this in life, I know she wouldn\u2019t miss it now. It\u2019s almost sacrilege to even doubt her presence there.<\/p>\n
And when I realized that she would be there then, something else finally came into focus. She was there on his first day of Kindergarten, his hockey games, our vacations, and every day in between. She is in his face, Matty\u2019s laugh, Amy\u2019s eyes and Jessie\u2019s spirit. She is in my mirror. She boils that pot over every night at dinner.<\/p>\n
And so I think after all of this time, after all of the homemade cards and flower pots received with white knuckles, I can at long last welcome Mother\u2019s Day.<\/p>\n
The one the calendar says is Sunday, and the all of the real ones in between.<\/p>\n
See you Sunday, Mom. I\u2019ll be the one smiling looking up into the trees.<\/p>\n
\u00a92014 Tracey Henry<\/p>\n
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My discomfort for Mother\u2019s Day is well-documented. Over the years, I\u2019ve explained that since my own mom passed away 13 years ago, ownership of this day has not been possible for me. This has eased slightly in recent years, or at the very least, worn the edges of the day down enough so that pain […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[2],"tags":[82,83],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3NIOM-8T","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":555,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/05\/22\/graduation-wreaths\/","url_meta":{"origin":551,"position":0},"title":"Graduation Wreaths","date":"May 22, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m usually not this crafty, but for our recent big dual graduation party, I wasn\u2019t all that impressed with the generic \u201cCongrats Grad!\u201d balloons and paper cutouts. Enter the wonder of the Internet. I watched this Youtube video, and made a couple in each of my boys\u2019 school colors and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/05\/IMG_2932-300x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":617,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/09\/12\/notice-of-policy-changes-for-an-aging-tooth-fairy\/","url_meta":{"origin":551,"position":1},"title":"Notice of Policy Changes for an Aging Tooth Fairy","date":"September 12, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: AGING TOOTH FAIRY POLICY CHANGES. 1.) When you have a loose tooth, you must be loud and proud about it. Secret wigglings or private extractions will no longer be recognized. If there is no public announcement in which a person of majority is present, it will not be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":410,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/03\/14\/st-patricks-day-dinner\/","url_meta":{"origin":551,"position":2},"title":"St. Patrick’s Day Dinner","date":"March 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"One of the things I remember the most about my mother's cooking was her corned beef dinner. She would make the corned beef, red-skinned potatoes and boiled cabbage. It was one of my favorite meals as a kid. Except for the cabbage. 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I spoke quickly, knowing we didn't have much\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":548,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/05\/05\/public-health-alert-senioritis\/","url_meta":{"origin":551,"position":4},"title":"Public Health Alert–Senioritis","date":"May 5, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As two of my children approach graduations\u2014one 8th grader leaving middle school and one high school senior about to enter college\u2014I can attest to the very real, very serious condition of Senioritis. The first symptom is a noticeable lack of interest and energy. Unfortunately, this isn\u2019t limited to the expected\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":599,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/07\/29\/13-tips-to-start-the-college-search\/","url_meta":{"origin":551,"position":5},"title":"13 tips to start the college search","date":"July 29, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As this summer winds down and gearing up for a new school year begins, instead of buying new crayons and construction paper for elementary school, I find myself shopping for extra-long twin sheets and shower caddies. Our little boy is going to college. 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