Sometimes my husband and I play this game where we try to up the ante on torturing ourselves and our family.<\/p>\n
The rules are simple: we take a very innocuous activity, then we each add a detail to complicate and add another layer of anguish.<\/p>\n
Our most recent round? Spring Break.<\/p>\n
Me:<\/strong> Let\u2019s take the kids to Disney World.<\/p>\n Him:<\/strong> Sounds good\u2026<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> But let\u2019s drive instead of fly.<\/p>\n Him:<\/strong> I\u2019ll see you a 14 hour drive and raise you by leaving at 11 pm and driving all night.<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> Nice. I\u2019ll see your all-nighter and raise you open beverages and melted chocolate all over the back seat.<\/p>\n Once we arrive\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> We have only one day of bad weather this whole week. Let\u2019s go to a park.<\/p>\n Him:<\/strong> Done. I will leave all of the rain ponchos in the car in the parking lot.<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> Perfect. I\u2019ll make sure the girls wear brand new flip-flops that give them blisters.<\/p>\n Him:<\/strong> Good idea. I\u2019ll make dining reservations at the fanciest restaurant I can find so we will be soaking wet and miserable when we finally eat at a ridiculous time of day.<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> Be sure to request the air conditioning be pumped up so we all leave feeling the beginnings of a cold that we can fight off for the rest of the week.<\/p>\n Back at the hotel heading to the pool\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n Me: <\/strong>Forget the sunscreen!<\/p>\n Speaking of hotels\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n Him:<\/strong> I\u2019ve planned out the dates so that we basically have to stay in two different hotels due to availability.<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> Good plan. I\u2019ve added 3 more excursions, so you\u2019ll need to triple the accommodations.<\/p>\n Him:<\/strong> Awesome. I was just thinking how easy and unencumbered it is to pack, unpack and repack six people and all of our gear multiple nights.<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> Well, at least there\u2019s free breakfast!<\/p>\n Him:<\/strong> Make sure to get extra helpings of the poorly refrigerated yogurt and undercooked sausage patties.<\/p>\n The beauty of the game is that multiple people can play! My daughter takes her turn at 3:00 in the morning.<\/em><\/p>\n Daughter:<\/strong> Mom, I think I ate too much free breakfast. I just threw up all over the room.<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> Is it called \u201cContinental\u201d because you\u2019ve just projectile vomited far enough to reach Europe?<\/p>\n Him:<\/strong> Well, at least it happened in the middle of the night when there\u2019s plenty of staff on duty to help.<\/p>\n After 2 hours of cleaning up with towels and individual size shampoo diluted in an ice bucket\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> So, how do we know when this game ends and who won?<\/p>\n Him:<\/strong> I don\u2019t consider it over until we get asked to leave or lose a security deposit.<\/p>\n Me: <\/strong>The housekeeping staff should be here in a couple of hours so I think that\u2019s game and set.<\/p>\n Him:<\/strong> Ah yes, but we still have 500 miles and three days left to this Spring Break.<\/p>\n Me:<\/strong> Which leaves opportunities for a couple more HoJo\u2019s and a petting zoo!<\/p>\n Him:<\/strong> If I call my mother from the car on speaker phone in a particularly bad reception area, I think that\u2019s match!<\/p>\n \u00a92014 Tracey Henry<\/p>\n <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Sometimes my husband and I play this game where we try to up the ante on torturing ourselves and our family. The rules are simple: we take a very innocuous activity, then we each add a detail to complicate and add another layer of anguish. Our most recent round? Spring Break. Me: Let\u2019s take the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[2],"tags":[72],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3NIOM-6M","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":761,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2017\/02\/13\/just-when-you-thought-it-was-safe-to-answer-your-door-during-cookie-season-my-husband-and-i-discuss-sales-strategy\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":0},"title":"Just when you thought it was safe to answer your door during cookie season, my husband and I discuss sales strategy…","date":"February 13, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Him: What\u2019s with the thousands of cardboard cases in the garage? Did you go to the wine store today? Me: No. Duh, wine store day is Friday and it\u2019s only Tuesday. No, they\u2019re cookies. Him: ? Me: Girl Scout Cookies. I thought I told you, I\u2019m Cookie Mom again this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":527,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/04\/09\/your-conference-packing-list\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":1},"title":"Your Conference Packing List","date":"April 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m about to embark upon a really wonderful trip. Disney has once again pulled their magic strings and I find myself invited to the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration. This year, it is in Anaheim at Disneyland, so I am completely out of my element. Pair this with the fact\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":91,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2013\/07\/17\/lets-dish\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":2},"title":"Let’s Dish","date":"July 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"For the past decade, I\u2019ve been bringing you the very true and very ridiculous stories from my side of the picket fence. We\u2019ve been chatting about kids and carpools, husbands and holidays, life, liberty and the pursuit of snappiness. And hopefully sharing a few laughs in the process. We\u2019re still\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Featured"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":920,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2020\/09\/22\/august\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":3},"title":"August","date":"September 22, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"School. Sort of. If you would have told me at the beginning of this mess that the start of the following school year would be in jeopardy after stopping in-person classes \u00a0on March 5th, I would have called you a cotton-headed ninnymuggins and taken your lunch just to teach you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"pandemic\"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":291,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2013\/11\/12\/a-tree-falls-in-nashville\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":4},"title":"A tree falls in Nashville","date":"November 12, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Last weekend in our backyard... Me: The tree guy came and took down most of the dead trees in the backyard except for one. He said he would have to come back for that one with different equipment because it was too big. My Husband: That one by the fence\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":705,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2016\/07\/22\/day-15-keepin-it-real\/","url_meta":{"origin":420,"position":5},"title":"Day 15. Keepin’ it real","date":"July 22, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Day 15 We piled the 13 of us back into the RV this morning while it was still dark. It instantly felt like being snatched from the bosom of our West Yellowstone sanctuary and hurdled onto the harsh Interstate abyss. I can describe what reentry is like to you only\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/420"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=420"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/420\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=420"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=420"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=420"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}