chili<\/a>, soups or beans because that\u2019s what slow-cookers are made for–heating things together that love to hang out all day without any hopes of self-transformation from what goes in to begin with. It\u2019s when I stray from this intended purpose and expect a hunk of meat, a can of soup and a tube of refrigerated biscuits to become Beef Wellington after 8 hours on my counter that I run into difficulty.<\/p>\nSuch was the case this week when I saw a Crock-pot recipe for a cider-braised pork tenderloin in which I had all of the ingredients and didn\u2019t have to go to the grocery store which already was a victory for me.<\/p>\n
It called for a slather of honey mustard on the pork, then apple cider and cut fresh apples on top. I knew it was an incongruous and incomplete combination as I placed it all in there but I was so hopeful that I just replaced the lid and like Jane Jetson, waited for a complete and delicious meal to magically emerge even though utter crap just went in.<\/p>\n
When we returned that evening, the house was supposed to smell all roasty, porky, and fall-y, but instead the aroma was more baby-foody with a hint of wet dog at a state fair. When I removed the lid, it looked pretty much like it did that morning except it was all one color and texture–wet, sad, beige and defeated.<\/p>\n
Before calling for pizza, I tried a small bite to confirm what I already suspected by sight and smell.<\/p>\n
Dry, flavorless, a little chewy with a fermented aftertaste; the familiar taste of another Crock-pot catastrophe.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not sure what the moral of this story is–other people cook fish in dishwashers and chicken in microwaves and maybe even bake bread in popcorn poppers for all I know–but for me cooking much in a slow cooker is Crock full of disaster.<\/p>\n
\u00a92013 Tracey Henry<\/p>\n
<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Admittedly, my biggest kitchen failures usually come from a Crock pot. If you forget about the first time I made Tiramisu without sugar or my passive-aggressive relationship with yeast, the Crock-pot is my next greatest culinary nemesis. Oh, I do fine with chili, soups or beans because that\u2019s what slow-cookers are made for–heating things together […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[2],"tags":[60],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3NIOM-4J","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":270,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2013\/10\/24\/white-turkey-chili\/","url_meta":{"origin":293,"position":0},"title":"White Turkey Chili","date":"October 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"There\u2019s only a week until Halloween and we have a lot to do, people. 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