{"id":208,"date":"2013-08-12T09:35:19","date_gmt":"2013-08-12T14:35:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/?p=208"},"modified":"2013-08-12T09:35:19","modified_gmt":"2013-08-12T14:35:19","slug":"signs-of-premature-education","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2013\/08\/12\/signs-of-premature-education\/","title":{"rendered":"Signs of Premature Education"},"content":{"rendered":"

As I sit here on the eve of the first day of school, which has crept earlier and earlier each August until it seems as though the 4th of July is closer than Labor Day, it occurs to me that the local School Boards may be suffering from an embarrassing affliction. I know it\u2019s not quite PC or appropriate to discuss outside of AM radio talk show commercials and creepy email spam, but I think there\u2019s a rampant case of premature education going on around here.<\/p>\n

It only takes a simple Google clip art image search of the words, \u201cBack to School\u201d with its apple-laden, fall-leaf-wreathed chalkboards and discounted plaid wool skirts with turtlenecks turned up to earlobes covered by fur-lined ski caps to confirm that the web–which is World Wide I remind you–universally accepts the fact that the First Day of School is an autumnal event.<\/p>\n

And though I am not Julius Caesar, I maintain that August, and certainly July, land squarely in the Northern Hemisphere\u2019s summer, and therefore, by its very position in the space-time continuum, charted latitudes and longitudes, maritime tides, and proximity to the solstices and several Independence Days, both foreign and domestic; are historically, meteorologically, ill-timed months to resume scholastic endeavors.<\/p>\n

In other words, you may be pulling the trigger a little too early, Board of Education.<\/p>\n

August 7th was our start date this year. This is actually a week later than most of the schools around us, so I guess I should feel lucky. The earth has had seven more days in which to retain summer temperatures approaching triple digits.<\/p>\n

Clearly there is some confusion on the Board with regard to an appropriate First Day of School. As the helpful citizen that I am, I would like to provide this brief tutorial to school planners to consider when they prepare next year\u2019s calendar so they are not, once again, subject to this embarrassing and inconvenient problem.<\/p>\n

If you start school before your state\u2019s tax-free holiday on school supplies even begins, you may be guilty of premature education.<\/p>\n

If playground balls fuse to the blacktop in the blistering heat, it may be a sign of premature education.<\/p>\n

If the first holiday off you have after the first day of school is a Christmas in July mattress sale, it just may be evidence of premature education.<\/p>\n

If parents are confused on whether the first day is a start date or an end date to the school year, well, it just may be a textbook case of premature education.<\/p>\n

If you have to pack zinc oxide and salt tablets in your child\u2019s lunchbox, chances are pretty good you\u2019re prematurely educating.<\/p>\n

If your child\u2019s \u201cschool bus\u201d has a freezer on board, plays \u201cPop goes the Weasel\u201d and serves Push-ups from a side window, premature education could be to blame.<\/p>\n

If your official school uniform includes flip flops and a panama hat, methinks it clearly is premature education.<\/p>\n

If math class is taught in SPF values, you know…<\/p>\n

If students have completed all of the material in their textbooks before they\u2019ve chosen a Halloween costume, premature education should be considered.<\/p>\n

If your child was born under the zodiacal sign of cancer and has to bring in birthday cupcakes for his classmates, talk to your doctor about premature education.<\/p>\n

If your child has ever brought a watermelon for a teacher on the first day instead of an apple because that\u2019s the only fruit in season, education prematurely could be the culprit.<\/p>\n

If there has ever been a wave runner in your school carline, there\u2019s no shame in admitting your premature education.<\/p>\n

If your child is taught how to convert Fahrenheit to Celsius and Celsius to Kelvin to record the average temperature during science class; well, just sayin\u2019.<\/p>\n

If your child has ever had to write a paper on Bastille Day due on Bastille Day; ahem.<\/p>\n

And finally, if as part of their emergency planning your school regularly conducts Sharknado drills; I rest my case.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re welcome. Now everyone is satisfied.<\/p>\n

\u00a92013 Tracey Henry<\/p>\n

\"Premature<\/a>
Premature education<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

School Night Panko-Crusted Chicken Cutlets<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

These are simple to make on a weeknight, but can easily be dressed up or down for your family\u2019s tastes.<\/p>\n

Chicken cutlets (you can buy the cutlets, or cut boneless skinless breast or fillets in half and pound to a thin cutlet)<\/p>\n

Flour
\n2 eggs (or more)
\n1 cup Panko (or more)<\/p>\n

Olive oil
\nsalt and pepper<\/p>\n

1.) Set up a breading station of the flour seasoned with salt and pepper, the eggs beaten with a little water, and a plate of the panko.<\/p>\n

2.) Heat a non-stick pan with a couple of tablespoons of olive oil over medium-high heat. You may have to re-oil in between batches, so don\u2019t put the bottle away. Preheat the oven to 350\u00b0.<\/p>\n

3.) Bread each cutlet by first dredging through the seasoned flour, then the egg wash, and finally evenly coating with the panko. Do 3 or 4 cutlets and place them in the pan. Do not overcrowd–do in batches if necessary.<\/p>\n

4.) Cook the cutlets about 2-3 minutes per side, just to give a nice brown color. Try to only flip once to preserve the panko crust. When golden brown, remove from pan and place in a single layer on a rimmed cookie sheet in the oven to finish cooking, and while you cook the next batch.<\/p>\n

5.) Continue with all the cutlets and bake in the oven another 10 minutes or so until they reach 165\u00b0 internally and no longer pink. By finishing in the oven, you still get a properly cooked chicken but the crust is still crispy and golden rather than charred.<\/p>\n

6.) Serve either as is, or top with a handful of arugula tossed with Dijon-lemon vinaigrette<\/a>–it gives a nice freshness and bite to the simple cutlet.<\/p>\n

\"Panko-Crusted<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As I sit here on the eve of the first day of school, which has crept earlier and earlier each August until it seems as though the 4th of July is closer than Labor Day, it occurs to me that the local School Boards may be suffering from an embarrassing affliction. I know it\u2019s not […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[4],"tags":[30,59],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3NIOM-3m","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":607,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/08\/05\/premature-education\/","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":0},"title":"Premature Education","date":"August 5, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As I sit here on the morning of the first day of school, which has crept earlier and earlier each August until it seems as though the 4th of July is closer than Labor Day, it occurs to me that the local School Boards may be suffering from an embarrassing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":713,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2016\/07\/26\/18\/","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":1},"title":"18","date":"July 26, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Today it was Thelma and Louise vs. Day 18. Day 18 lulled us into a false sense of security during the long, smooth ride from Minneapolis across the green fields of Wisconsin on our way to our final destination of Chicago. Day 18 gave us no traffic, clear roads and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":282,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2013\/11\/11\/old-school-rice-pilaf\/","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":2},"title":"Old school rice pilaf","date":"November 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"This easy and flavorful side is a souvenir from my youth when I thought rice only came in two varieties: Minute or pilaf. I left the Minute Rice back in the 80\u2019s and the pilaf seemed doomed to stay there as well until a few months ago when I resurrected\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Recipe"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.suburbandiva.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/IMG_2294-225x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":631,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/09\/26\/20-things-you-wont-hear-me-say-this-month\/","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":3},"title":"20 Things You Won’t Hear Me Say This Month","date":"September 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You\u2019ll hear me say a lot of things this month. There\u2019s a good chance you\u2019ll overhear me yelling at some crazy person on House Hunters that you can buy a stainless steel refrigerator and a can of paint at any Home Depot, you unrealistic idiot. Or my explanation to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":548,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/05\/05\/public-health-alert-senioritis\/","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":4},"title":"Public Health Alert–Senioritis","date":"May 5, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"As two of my children approach graduations\u2014one 8th grader leaving middle school and one high school senior about to enter college\u2014I can attest to the very real, very serious condition of Senioritis. The first symptom is a noticeable lack of interest and energy. Unfortunately, this isn\u2019t limited to the expected\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Column"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":561,"url":"http:\/\/www.suburbandiva.com\/2014\/05\/23\/top-10-signs-school-is-about-to-end\/","url_meta":{"origin":208,"position":5},"title":"Top 10 signs school is about to end","date":"May 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Top 10 signs you know the school year is ending: 10. School busses start carrying salve on board for the third degree burns resulting from vinyl seats reaching 37,000 \u2103 by 7 am. 9. Too short to be considered \u201ccrayons,\u201d you now have a box of wax finger paints. 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