Tag: school

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August

School. Sort of. If you would have told me at the beginning of this mess that the start of the following school year would be in jeopardy after stopping in-person classes  on March 5th, I would have called you a cotton-headed ninnymuggins and taken your lunch just to teach you a lesson about saying hurtful […]

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#Goals

I don’t think that I’m alone in my sincere intention of achieving my Mom Back to School Goals. The execution of these objectives is another story altogether. We’ve just completed the first full week of school, and I’m evaluating my progress. Goal: Buy all the uniforms in June during the sale. Result: I did place […]

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Premature Education

As I sit here on the morning of the first day of school, which has crept earlier and earlier each August until it seems as though the 4th of July is closer than Labor Day, it occurs to me that the local School Boards may be suffering from an embarrassing affliction. I know it’s not […]

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Sh*t Parents at College Orientation Say

Sh*t Parents at Orientation Say Oh, I’m not one of those parents who coddles their kid, but I’m somewhat of a control freak. Wait, what? We have special circumstances in our family. But my kid is different. Your father will build that loft higher. If she gets assigned to a community bathroom, we’re transferring. Can […]

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Top 10 signs school is about to end

Top 10 signs you know the school year is ending: 10. School busses start carrying salve on board for the third degree burns resulting from vinyl seats reaching 37,000 ℃ by 7 am. 9. Too short to be considered “crayons,” you now have a box of wax finger paints. All in Burnt Sienna color. 8. […]