We’re in the midst of cold and flu season.

I assume.

I must make a confession here--I’m one of those crazy laypeople that cannot tell the difference between a cold and the flu. I will preface this with I’m talking about the regular, average cold and flu with no animal prefix in front of it. If I start sprouting feathers or rooting for truffles, I’ll know it’s time to see a doctor. But for the average stuffy nose, I’m at a loss.

I get the basics--they both make you feel like crud with or without fever, runny nose, cough or congestion lasting 3-5 days. Apparently, aches and pains are associated with one of them, but I have 4 children and received a Shake Weight for Christmas, so aches and pains are a daily symptom for me and no help with my self-diagnosis.

I tried using the mighty and powerful Google search for answers, and this is what it helpfully provided:

how to tell the difference between cubic zirconia and diamond
how to tell the difference between covalent and ionic bonds
how to tell the difference between chinese and japanese
how to tell the difference between cold sores and canker sores
how to tell the difference between copper and brass
how to tell the difference between cold and flu
how to tell the difference between cast iron and steel
how to tell the difference between cold and allergies
how to tell the difference between crystal and glass
how to tell the difference between chip and dale 

I spent two hours on a Disney fan site trying to find out the difference between Chip and Dale before checking all of the pieces in my jewelry box.

While there may not be a noticeable difference on symptoms, there is a definite distinction when you tell people what you have. Telling your boss you have a bad cold will get you a cup of chicken noodle soup and a bottle of hand sanitizer on your desk. Calling in with the flu gets you the week off and an all expense paid trip to the CDC in Atlanta.

But luckily, there is a flu vaccine! While it may not always prevent you from getting the flu, it will help lessen the effects similar to that of a bad cold. Of which there is still no cure. And how do you know you had the flu after the shot, and not just a cold to begin with? Which I suppose brings us around full circle, answering no questions except one.

Chip is the Disney character with the chocolate chip nose, Dale is the one who looks like he’s suffering through a particularly harsh cold and flu season.

(c)2011 Tracey Henry

Divamail me!