The Real Cost of Thanksgiving Dinner

As you complete your last-minute Thanksgiving grocery shopping today, you might find yourself in bewilderment over the recent released statistic that the average cost of the Thanksgiving meal for ten people is $49.04.

You may have some trouble reconciling your 8 foot long grocery receipt for a much larger amount with that very misleading number.

So for clarification for you and my husband, here is what the folks at the American Farm Bureau Federation say it costs compared to actual reality on the planet earth.

AFBF claim the average turkey cost: $21.76

Real Cost:

Turkey………$21.76
Peanut oil….$68
ER co-pay…$50
Replacement sod from under the fryer….$60
New Turkey cooked in oven….$38

Average potato cost: $2.99 per 5 lb bag (*Not listed on the survey because the AFBF is going low-carb this Thanksgiving I guess)

Real cost:

Potatoes……$2.99
extra peeler…$4.99
Band-Aids…..$1.99

Average cranberry sauce: .99

Real cost:

Can of jellied cranberries…. .99
Can of chunky………………… .99
Fresh cranberries……………. $2.42
Serving bowls for 8 different kinds of cranberries…… $58

Average cost of a box of stuffing: $2.67

Real cost:

Bread, sausage, onions, celery……$10
Therapy after public shaming for using boxed stuffing….$14,000

Average cost of 3 lbs of sweet potatoes: $3.36

Real cost:

Sweet potatoes……$3.36
Butter…………..$2.00
Sugar…………. .50
Marshmallows…..$1.50
Gym membership……..$39 per month

Average cost of 12 “Brown and Serve Rolls”: $2.18

Real Cost: $2.18 x 10 people because after product re-sizing the average size of 1 dinner roll is the same net weight as a crouton….$218.00

Average cost of 1/2 pint of whipping cream: $1.85

Real cost of whipping cream at gas station at 3:00 on Thanksgiving Day…$6.00

Average cost of a pound of green peas: $1.54

Real cost:

No one on the continental U.S. can get fresh peas in late November, so the cost of some other green vegetable like asparagus…..$4.99 per pound

Official Inquiry by Taxpayers as to what bizarre things the Farm Bureau eats on Thanksgiving with all of these peas and no mashed potatoes: $28 per household

Miscellaneous items not listed in the survey but real costs this Thursday nonetheless:

Pot of coffee………………$1.00
Pot of decaf……………….$1.00
Pot of “special 21+” brew……$3.50
Pepto-Bismol after eating boxed stuffing…………..$4.50
Dish soap to wash Thanksgiving dinner for 10….$1.69
Stain stick for Uncle Murray’s side of the tablecloth….$2.00
Extra batteries for the remote control to rewind the parade 10 times so everyone has had a chance to see the Snoopy float….$7
Antibiotics because that green-nosed nephew did in fact have Strep…$10 + Minute Clinic visit Thursday night

Total Cost of Thanksgiving Dinner for 10 in 2013….$14,710.23*

*Does not include my legal fees or retaliatory price-gouging for Thanksgiving 2014.

©2013 Tracey Henry